


A Matter of Perception

by heeroluva



Category: Terminator, Terminator - All Media Types, Terminator Salvation (2009)
Genre: Angst, Community: smallfandomfest, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non Consensual, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-22
Updated: 2011-03-22
Packaged: 2017-10-17 05:08:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heeroluva/pseuds/heeroluva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's the difference between man and machine?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Matter of Perception

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the awesome hollycomb for the amazingly quick beta. This is written for the prompt "Terminator, Kyle Reese/Marcus Wright, They still see him as a machine and they always will" by smaragdbird for smallfandomfest. All mistakes are mine. Feel free to let me know if you see any. As always feedback is appreciated.

Kyle knew that everyone still saw Marcus as a machine and that they always would. Marcus had made the ultimate sacrifice for their leader, literally gave the man his heart, but apparently that still wasn’t enough to commend him in their eyes. When Marcus had offered, Kyle’s world had dropped out from under him. Yes, he’d wanted to meet up with Connor, the man who held the greatest command over the resistance, but not at such a cost.

Marcus had come to mean so much to him in the weeks that they’d had together. While Star had been his driving force for years, Kyle hadn’t realized he’d missing having someone that actually talked back until he met the strange man who didn’t even know what Judgment Day or Terminators were. While Kyle taught him what little he knew about the history, Marcus taught him how to live again.

As the soldiers rolled Marcus’s body into the grave it hit the bottom with a resounding clang that caused both men to jump away. Kyle didn’t flinch or move from the spot, just tightened his hold on Star, who’d been unwilling to leave his side since Marcus had let go of her hand. Kyle didn’t know why he’d expected tears from her, when she’d never cried before. He jerked back when her hand brushed his cheek, and he suddenly realized the grave was filled and wondered how long he’d been standing there. Lifting a hand to his cheek, he realized he’d been crying.

It wasn’t long after that the men began calling him names. Oh, they were careful; it was during the rare instances that Star wasn’t around. They made sure that Connor wasn’t present either, having seen their leader’s odd protectiveness of the boy.

It wasn’t even a week later that things took a turn for the worse. Kyle had been lulled by a false sense of security, thinking that he was safe for once, and he’d relaxed his guard. He should have known better, but it still came as a surprise when he was cornered in the showers. It was a rare luxury that he’d taken advantage of. He wasn’t comfortable with the thought of showering with others, not really even comfortable being around so many others period after being alone with Star for so long, so he’d made the stupid decision to shower alone at night, that the cover of darkness would offer him some privacy.

He found out how wrong he was. Kyle hadn’t even heard them until they were on him. A hand shot out and pulled him out from under the spray of the water, and another slapped over his mouth before he could shout. He knew what was coming, had sold his body for protection more than once after his father died, but that was survival. This was different, and he fought even knowing that he didn’t stand a chance, cried even though the tears meant nothing but ridicule.

In the end the only satisfaction he had was the bleeding bite mark on one of the man’s arm and an aching jaw from where he was punched in return. He spit out blood as they circled around him as he knelt panting in fear and exhaustion.

The man that he bit came forward jeering, “Terminator whore.”

Kyle refused to acknowledge it.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you,” the man growled.

But Kyle stubbornly refused to look up.

The man’s hand shot out, digging cruelly into the already bruising flesh of his jaw, causing Kyle to cry out as his head was wrenched upward. “Too good to speak to us lowly humans now that you’d gotten a taste of metal? Maybe you just need a reminder of how it is with a human. I’ll give you something to remember, slut.”

The man suddenly sunk his fingers into Kyle’s cheeks, forcing his mouth open as the man quickly undid his pants with his free hand. Kyle tried to jerk back but there was another man there, pressed up against him, holding his head in place. The man shoved himself into his mouth, causing him to gag, and he almost bit down, but stopped at the man’s words.

“Bite me again and you’ll never see Star again.”

At that Kyle was well and truly defeated. He knew that the man could do it. They’d been talking about sending her away to one of the safe camps all week now. He was all for it until he realized he wouldn’t be going with her. She was family and he wasn’t going to have her sent away to some breeding camp, where she would be subjected to who knows what type of horrors. They’d been better off on their own, when it was just them and Marcus.

He must have drifted away for a while, but came back to himself as he was shifted onto his hands and knees, suddenly noticing the sharp stinging of his abused lips. A hand reached between his legs and viciously squeezed his limp flesh, causing the man that was kneeing behind him to laugh nastily.

“Flesh and blood ain't good enough for you, eh? Can’t get it up without your cyborg? Well, get used to it, because he’s dead and not coming back. Guess you’ll just have to make do with us then.”

He screamed in agony as he was abruptly split open, but it was muffled by the flesh still choking him. The man in front of him had enough forethought to shove his thumbs in Kyle’s mouth so he couldn’t bite down. After that he floated away, only vaguely aware of what was being done to him. He wondered briefly what Marcus would think of him now, what Marcus would do to these men if he were here. But of course he wasn’t. He was dead and not coming back. Kyle forced himself to stop thinking of him, not wanting to deface his memory by connecting it to these events.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he finally came back to himself alone under the still flowing water. Shivering violently from the now cold water, he shakily stood and clenched his teeth and eyes at the all encompassing pain the movement caused. Abruptly filled with the need to be clean, he began scrubbing, not noticing or caring about the injuries he caused or made worse, just knowing that he needed to get them off out him. But it didn’t work; they were inside him, under his skin.

With a cry he shut off the water, and without drying off put on his discarded clothes, not caring that they got soaked. He ran back to the room he shared with Star, relieved to not run into anyone and glad to find that the door was locked. He knocked with their special code and after a moment the door swung open, revealing a wide-eyed Star. Her face grew solemn as she looked at him, taking in the bruises on his face and his puffy, split lips. She reached for his hand and he grasped it without hesitation, letting himself be led into the room. She locked the door behind him and began to tug at his clothes.

“No,” he protested, but Star had that look; she was adamant. As his shirt came off, the band-aids began. He sat quietly for several long minutes as she did her thing. When she reached for his pants, he refused, not willing to negotiate this one. “No. I can do it.”

She gave him a look, but he just shook his head.

“I mean it. Go lay down and face the wall.”

She glared at him briefly but did as she was told. Removing his pants, he wasn’t surprised at the blood, had felt it, but still the sight of it suddenly made it all that much more real. He quickly pulled on a clean pair, but it was too much. Suddenly feeling sick, he grabbed a bucket and was violently ill.

Kyle jerked around at the hesitant touch on his shoulder, in his misery almost forgetting that Star had been in the room. She had a blanket in her arms and tenderly wrapped it around him. Wiping his mouth, he stood shakily, and Star took his hand again, leading him to the bed. Climbing in, he stared at the wall. Feeling her press up against him, the hesitant brush of his hair, he couldn’t fight the tears. It was so unfair. She was innocent, didn’t deserve any of this, this hell.

Long minutes of silent tears passed before he realized someone was humming, and it was beautiful. More minute passed before he realized it was Star. Startled he froze, then the sobs started. She must have had a great mother, would be a great one herself someday. He didn’t even remember his own. It had always been just him and his dad. His last thought as he finally feel into an exhausted sleep was that he wished Marcus was here. Marcus had protected them from the beginning. But he was gone now, and with him went the bubble of protection that his presence had offered.

Kyle spent the next week holed up in the room as much as he could, knowing better than to be seen by Connor like this. Not wanting to explain. But one morning Kyle awoke to a commotion, gun fire and shouting outside the base. He shoved a gun into Star’s hands and told her to stay put. Carefully making his way through the maze of hallways to the entrance, he froze at unexpected sight before him.

“Marcus,” Kyle breathed, and he was suddenly running, ignoring Connor’s shouts to stop and when he didn’t, not hearing the shouts to everyone else to stand down. Everything else fell away and his world faded to just Marcus. He didn’t understand how it was possible, didn’t care how, just knew that Marcus was back and that’s all that mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus knew something was wrong the moment he woke up, could feel it in the very fiber of his being, but couldn’t move. His monitors informed him that his nanites were building him an artificial heart, and he could do nothing but wait. He floated for a while, but still the sense of wrongness didn’t dissipate. It wasn’t until he was fully repaired that his outbound senses came back online and informed him that he was buried. It was much harder to dig out of six feet of earth than he expected, but he managed it after a period of time.

When he was finally free, it didn’t take him long to find the base and it took the resistance soldiers even less time to realize what he was and begin attacking before he had a chance to explain himself.

A whisper of his name froze him in place. It was enough time for a grenade to come to rest near him and send him flying. He heard Connor’s shouts but wasn’t paying attention as Kyle was suddenly there, kneeling over him, looking both happy and shocked, but very much the worse for the wear. Marcus had served enough years in prison to recognize the signs, to understand what happened.

Suddenly sitting up, his thumb gently traced Kyle’s split lip, and he growled, “Who did this?”

Kyle’s face fell and he turned his head, ashamed, but he didn’t answer, knowing that it wouldn’t make a difference.

“I’ll kill them,” Marcus stated with no emotion.

“No!” Kyle exclaimed. “I just want to go, to get out of here, and forget.”

Connor was suddenly there, and Marcus jumped to his feet, pushing Kyle behind him, but the resistance leader had seen it too, know what it meant, and paled rapidly.

“He was supposed to be safe here. You were supposed to protect him.”

Connor’s face darkened. “I’ll take care of it.”

There was more shouting and suddenly Star was there, throwing herself at Marcus as Kyle yelled, “I told you to stay in our room. You didn’t know what was out here, and could have been hurt.”

Star just grinned and snuggled closer into Marcus. Somehow she’d known, as she always did.

“I want a car,” Marcus said.

Connor looked shocked. “What? No!”

“I don’t care if you ‘take care of it.’ You had your chance, and you failed. We’re leaving. Don’t try to stop me.”

Conner looked as though he was going to say something, but after a moment relented and had a car brought along.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They drove south in silence for long hours, and Kyle never once took his gaze off Marcus, still not fully believing that the other man was really here, really alive. He wasn’t convinced that he wasn’t dreaming and that Marcus wasn’t going to suddenly disappear before his eyes. Finally looking for shelter when it started to get dark, they took refuge in and old farm house. Kyle didn’t want to sleep, sure that when he awoke, the man would be gone.

But feeling safe for the first time in over a week, exhaustion suddenly caught up with him, and as Marcus watched over them, he let sleep embrace him, praying that when he awoke the man would still be there.

Kyle wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he opened his eyes again, but he knew it wasn’t long because it was still dark out. He was both relieved and elated to find that Marcus was still there keeping guard, and that it hadn’t been a dream. Kyle laid there silently just watching Marcus stare into space, occasionally glancing over at them, making sure they were sleeping soundly. When they’d first met, Marcus had taken to waking them from the nightmares that plagued them. He was kind enough or knew enough that he never asked what they'd been dreaming about.

Marcus had never given any indication of wanting anything in return for his protection and companionship, but Kyle knew that people always wanted something from you sooner or later if there were nice to you. Before he could talk himself out of it, he crawled into Marcus’ lap, not commenting as the man jumped in surprise. Quickly leaning forward, Kyle kissed him, but his lips barely met the other man’s before Marcus jerked back, a shocked looked on his face.

Kyle squashed the sudden wave of hurt that squeezed his heart and turned his head away.

“No, Kyle," Marcus said. "Don’t.”

Kyle wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I owe you.”

“Kyle, no. Not like that. Never like that. You don’t owe me anything. It was my choice.”

Kyle hesitantly met his eyes, not really believing. “But I—” He leaned forward again, but Marcus stopped him.

Kyle had the grace to blush. “I’ve wanted to since I met you. Wasn’t sure it would be welcome.” This time, when Kyle leaned in for a kiss, Marcus didn’t stop him. It was slow and deep, full of promise.

As wonderful as it was, Kyle couldn’t help tensing, suddenly remembering what those men had done to him. Marcus must have felt it because he pulled away, and then shushed him with a light kiss when Kyle tried to protest.

“You’re not ready.” Marcus kissed Kyle again when he tried to speak. “When you’re ready, but not til then.”

Kyle buried his face Marcus’ neck, moved beyond belief. When the tears started Marcus didn’t say a thing, just tightened his hold, and when Star joined them, they both embraced her.

When the tears finally stopped and Star slept quietly against them, Kyle finally couldn’t help but ask, “How?”

Marcus met his gaze. “I’m a prototype, and they tried a lot of new things with me. It seems like as long as my cortex remains intact, I can heal from anything, given time.”

Kyle stared at him, wide-eyed for a moment, taking the statement in, marveling at the fact that Marcus was practically immortal now. Then he asked, “What was dying like? Did it hurt?”

Marcus shrugged slightly. “It was peaceful. Didn’t hurt at all. Was like sinking into a warm ocean.”

“I’ve never been to the the ocean,” Kyle murmured sleepily.

Hours later, Kyle awoke again, and he smiled slightly when he saw Marcus still watching over them.

“Kyle, you know this won’t be easy," Marcus said. "They’ll never see me as anything but a machine.”

Kyle flinched, then shrugged, surprised to hear Marcus voicing his own thoughts. It didn’t matter. “Who cares what anyone else thinks?" he said. "As long as we’re together, everything will be okay.”

At Marcus’ smile at nod, Kyle let himself hope that he might just be right.

 

Extras  
Outtake – Marcus’ POV

They drove south in silence for long hours, finally looking for shelter when it started to get dark. Taking refuge in and old farm house, Marcus couldn’t help but feel content as he watched his charges sleep. He didn’t care that his feeling for Kyle hadn’t originated in him. He had the choice to abandon Kyle after he learned that, and that’s what made him different from the robots. He had a choice. And he chose Kyle.

He jumped slightly, startled when Kyle suddenly crawled into in his lap, so lost in thought that he even realized that Kyle was awake. Kyle, who had been so strong, so unmoving, now looked horribly young and vulnerable. He didn’t expect it when Kyle leaned forward and kissed him. He froze for a moment, then jerked back, hating the hurt that flashed across Kyle’s face before he could hide it.

“No, Kyle. Don’t.”

Kyle wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I owe you.”

“Kyle, no. Not like that. Never like that. You don’t owe me anything. It was my choice.”

Kyle hesitantly met his eyes, not really believing. “But I—” He leaned forward again, but Marcus stopped him.

“No, not out of a sense of gratitude. Not unless you want to.”

Kyle had the grace to blush. “I’ve wanted to since I met you. Wasn’t sure it would be welcome.” This time when Kyle leaned in for a kiss, Marcus didn’t stop him. It was slow and deep, full of promise.

Feeling the increasing tension in Kyle’s frame, Marcus pulled away again, shushing him with a light kiss when he began to protest. “You’re not ready.” He kissed Kyle again when he tried to speak. “When you’re ready, but not till then.”

Kyle suddenly buried his face Marcus’ neck, moved beyond belief. When the tears started Marcus didn’t say a thing, just tightened his hold, and when Star joined them, they both embraced her.

When the tears finally stopped and Star slept quietly against them, Marcus wasn’t surprised by Kyle’s question, had expected it for some time now.

“How?”

Marcus met his gaze. “I’m a prototype and as such they tried a lot of new things with me. It seems that as long as my cortex remains intact, I can heal from anything given time.”

Kyle stared at him wide eyed for a moment. Then he asked, “What was dying like? Did it hurt?”

Marcus shrugged slightly. It wasn’t anything special. He’d done it twice now, and dying wasn’t all it was cracked up to me. “It was peaceful. Didn’t hurt at all. Was like sinking into a warm ocean.”

“I’ve never been to the ocean,” Kyle murmured sleepily.

Marcus petted Kyle’s curl mop of hair and replied, “We’ll have to fix that.” But Kyle was already asleep

Hours later, Kyle awoke again, and he smiled slightly when he saw Marcus still watching over them.

“Kyle, you know this won’t be easy," Marcus said. "They’ll never see me as anything but a machine.”

Kyle flinched, then shrugged, surprised to hear Marcus voicing his own thoughts. It didn’t matter. “Who cares what anyone else thinks?" he said. "As long as we’re together, everything will be okay.”

Marcus nodded and smiled sadly at the optimism of youth. It amazed him that Kyle wasn’t more jaded than he was after everything he’d been through. It would be hard, but despite that, he couldn’t help but hope for the first time that things might be okay.

 

Outtake – Connor’s POV

Connor opened his mouth to respond, but closed it abruptly at the look on Marcus's face, as well as the looks on the faces of the two humans who were clinging to Marcus like a lifeline, wondering how he’d missed what was going on under his own roof, how he’d failed to notice such a thing. As he got the car and watched them drive off, he wondered if he just signed the death warrant of the human race.


End file.
